Between it's lines is a phoenix rising from the ashes of a burnt-out former self, spreading it's wings in relief of new ability to soar. Between it's lines is a soul calling us to pay attention to what catches our attention ~ an awareness offered to us to co-create the reality for which we wish.
This particularly resonated with me on a personal level. Do you know that feeling of the monkey-mind running around on your shoulders, uncontrolled and despairing? I have felt it many times in my younger years. I call it my inner victim, or my ego. It's that sense of spinning your emotional tyres deeper into a mud patch when all you want to do is move forward. "This is never going to change." "We've got no hope in this world". "No one really cares".
I have experienced many various bouts of the monkey-mind running rampant; and at some point the realisation arrived that 'I' am more like the elephant who, after being chained for years and not being able to roam, will stay in it's chained position once the chain has been removed. I finally realised, somehow, that I can be kin with my monkey-mind, choosing to utilise it's feistiness as a flag toward something wanting to be healed and released; something it wanted me to pay attention to. Finally, this realisation allowed a shift and a movement; rather than a disempowered experience in which I would run and hide when the familiar sluggish wave swept through my emotional landscape.
The monkey-mind allows clarity in identifying what is 'wrong'. I give myself permission to vomit out the toxicity onto a page - all those feelings, thoughts, emotions that feel 'wrong' to be experiencing and 'wrong' to be happening. Once the purging extracts these concepts outside of me, an objectivity tends to appear. Kind of how physical vomiting removes a toxic substance from the stomach, finally bringing relief.
With the page of toxicity looking back at me, I start to feel a shame slide away. "Phew.... it's finally out in the open".
And with that comes a slow but steady stream of creativity; the Warrior come to ask what deeper resource this adversity is calling on me to bring forth. From here it's a process of stream-of-consciousness mind-mapping - a revealing of the wisdom of the subconscious; that which is tapped into a bigger and fuller perspective bringing forward sense to the current context. What comes are potential 'next actions' for movement and progression to each of the 'toxic' pieces of feedback flagged to my attention by the monkey-mind. This process allows the toxic feedback to be questioned - what are you telling me I want/need (as opposed to something I don't want/need)? This is the mud-map to the journey of reaching toward your vision for what you wish to see in the world. For each toxic statement, it's a process of writing down what those words reveal I do want and need to be balanced and happy.
Some of the next actions might be well out of my domain of influence. And for those: I accept, acknowledge and offer a prayer. Other actions push my boundaries and almost hurt; BUT feel necessary and potent. So with these I start with one step forward - one next action to cling onto - and go. Much like the 1-year-old taking it's first steps with her encouraging parents knowing she can walk, the soul croons the ego along on the journey of loving, healing, growing, evolving. More 'next actions' come as they are possible, seeking out a hand-holding support to bring accountability and encouragement from a trusted someone/something if this will be of service.
With each 'thing' moving forward, with each of those steps, comes a sense of spaciousness, relief, and empowerment; a sense of the wildness of fully living, of deeper love and awareness; a sense of the perfectness of all that is. All these, some might argue, are the human experience.
And like any human experience, it's a process of up-down-and-around - the spiral pattern of progress. Movement forward, hitting a plateau, reviewing the situation again with slightly different perspectives under the belt of experience, a fresh mind-mapping of potential options, and launching into the round of next actions to reach out and celebrate life's beauty.
So, here are the steps:
Thankfully, there are also a raft of other practices to help move the stagnating gloom and move into the visioning and productive space. Here are just a few other options to explore in holding hands with your monkey-mind:
So, with hope's light guiding the soul though the dark tunnel of cloudy melancholy, small steps unfurl and evolve us out into the world as the blossoming being we were planted in this world to be. Both the dark and the light are present at all times - that monkey running around on our shoulders - and whether we choose to just see the monkey, or to also listen to what the monkey asks us to process and progress, is our choice. As a wise person once said, "This world is our to create, and if we don't do it, someone else will". Thankfully, the choice is always ours.
Thank you for opening yourself and coming to sit in this sharing circle. If you feel to, you are welcome to express your experiences in the comments of how you call on your deeper resources and celebrate life's beauty when the temptation of numbness and escape calls.
As an offering from one soul-experiencing-human-form to another...
Welcome to the insights, updates and downloads of Erin Young.
Comment & share freely!